Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
