Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
