I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
