Christians are straight up FREAKS
3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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