apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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