I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
