He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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