We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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