got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
fuck your aforementioned shoe
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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