garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
