Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
But break dance skills will only take you so far
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize