If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
