and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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