your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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