so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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