remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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