Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
