We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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