my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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