New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
