I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
