Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
