I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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