I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Randomize
