I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
