I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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