I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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