Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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