Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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