Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
