Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
