it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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