GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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