Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
