dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
