I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
it's great music for shaving your balls
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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