i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Randomize
