Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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