Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry allaliasestaken hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs

Fav 71 2688 1331
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...

Fav 8 1351 1711
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(978): View more from Massachusetts

I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.

Fav 33 2713 1757
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?

Fav 36 946 3136
share tweet
(309): View more from Illinois

is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?

Fav 42 1685 4400
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here

Fav 15 5477 722
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(608): View more from Wisconsin

I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.

Fav 18 7737 1190
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(859): View more from Kentucky

I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.

Fav 1 529 848
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.

Fav 0 78 51
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT