So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Sorry about my life...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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