Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
