wrigley field is MILF paradise
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
