We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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