i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
