I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
