Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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