Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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