I'm pants shitting drunk right now
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize