i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
