Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
