4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize