I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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