yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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