I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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