I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
