Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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