there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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