it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
