the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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