I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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