I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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