i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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