Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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